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If you ask yourself what you want in life, you probably think in terms of things.  I want a house.  I want a car.  I want a good job.  I want to travel.  But what you should ask yourself are what feelings you want to cultivate.  You may have misplaced desires for certain items, when you really want a feeling you think the item will give you.  My example is that I want (in no particular order): mystery, adventure, comfort, security.  There are physical manifestations that may induce those feelings, but until I understand what feelings I want, I cannot truly direct my life.

Step 1: make a list of the feelings you want to cultivate in your life.

The next question to ask yourself is why?  The answer lies in your childhood.  Ever wonder why people cannot get out of ruts?  Why some people cannot seem to escape the lives in which they were raised?  Why some people live the same, tragic lives as their parents?  It is because they are trying to re-create their feelings from childhood.  What was your life growing up?  What memories keep coming back to you?  Think of both the good and the bad.

Step 2: brainstorm a list of ten memories from your childhood that pop into your mind (even if they seem silly, irrelevant or disturbing.)

Don't believe that you are influenced by what happened first in your life?  Consider what toys you think are awesome.  Do you still get excited when you see one in a thrift store, garage sale, online auction or when they re-release those toys today?  Heck, yeah!  What furniture do you think is awesome?  I want a sofa with low, flat arms and removable cushions because that's what we had when I was growing up.  Eventually, we got a new sofa, but the black, nubby sofa was the first, and that's what I want.  Not in black, and not necessarily nubby, but one that elicits the feelings I had when my family had that sofa.  The first thing I'll do is make a fort with the cushions.

Review your list from Step 2.  Do any of your memories elicit the feelings you listed in Step 1?  If "yes" all the way down, great!  If the feelings you get from your memory list are not on your feelings list, you will have some work to do, but you are already on your way.