Neil thought he was being punished. Perhaps for not giving to the less fortunate. Perhaps for touching himself. Whatever it was, the situation was not his fault.
First line inspiration was rather specific this time! From "Hell is the Absence of God" by Ted Chiang: "This is the story of a man named Neil Fisk, and how he came to love God." Chiang's story is a fascinating exploration of all the ways people love God, especially the ultimate love of God, which is incredibly depressing. The feeling I get from this story is quite a bit like the feelings I got from the required readings as an undergraduate English major and I'm glad I don't have to write papers about them anymore. If you want to recreate this feeling of vaguely understanding the reasons why a reading should give you a sudden sense of the futility of life, or if you'd like to give your religious faith a test-shake, read this story!
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