Of all the lies movies have taught me over the years, I think the worst is that I believed that I could do anything in a reasonable amount of time. I didn't think that I could do it within the space of a movie--that's ridiculous--but I did believe the movie time suggestion that within my lifetime I could accomplish goals. Lies. Dirty, rotten lies.
My days are spent on a treadmill. My brain, on the shortest treadmill of them all. Repetition, repetition, repetition. Nothing accomplished. Dishes pile up again and again. Laundry. Mail. Shower. Eat. Sleep. Dentist and doctor and optometrist appointments. Repeat. Holidays. Repeat. The things I dreamed of doing remained out of my grasp for the daily repetition. My brain rehashed what it wanted and wondered why the hell wasn't I making progress? I should have accomplished by now! Where had the time gone? Why couldn't I get motivated? Why couldn't I get out of welding to accomplish my dream of being a professional dancer? What happened to making the band and winning the hearts of millions? Shouldn't I be able to save Christmas, or teach the town to dance or preserve the human race? Goddamn movies. Lies.
No comments:
Post a Comment