Pageant Question 19: Would you consider yourself to be an optimist, a pessimist or a realist?

It is not true that there is a finite amount of happiness a person can have.  When good comes to you, there is no reason why more good should not follow, and furthermore, there is no reason why the good should be interrupted for any reason in the future.  Often, people who find themselves benefiting from what they perceive as "good luck" will assume that it is a one-shot deal.  They may even believe that the good luck must be balanced by bad.

Untrue!

Good may follow good may follow good until you finally realize that none of the "good" is happening separately from any other part of life: it is life.  At this point, many happy people living a good life may feel a sense of guilt.  There is no reason for guilt because happiness is infinite.  Because you are happy doesn't mean anyone else will be unhappy.  Because you experience a good event doesn't mean it needs to be balanced with bad somewhere else.  You can be happy and experience good, and so can everyone else.  It is infinite.

Plus: it is always within you.

A person has a very small sphere of influence--it is only him or herself.  You control how you think and react.  Thoughts, however, can be habits, and you may need to re-groove paths in your brain to realize the happiness that lies within.  It will take work.  It will take patience with yourself.  You will have setbacks, but it will work.

241

"You are never happy."  Denise pointed the wooden stir stick at Harry to help make her point.  "Never."

"That's not true!"

"Are you happy today?"

"No, but..."

"Were you happy yesterday?"

"But that's when it all happened, Denise.  Weren't you listening to my story at all..."

"Do you plan on being happy tomorrow?"

Harry sat up straighter.  "Yes."

"Nobody who is happy plans on being happy tomorrow."

Harry was tired of Denise and her Junior Psychologist ways that disguised her love of cruelty and superiority.

"Then I don't need to plan."  Harry stood, bumping the cafe table and making Denise catch her latte.  "I'll go be happy right now, which starts with me getting the hell out of here."

229

While you love vacation and hating having to leave, it is a relieved return to your heart when you come home again.  As you get closer and closer to home, you note all the small changes that happened while you were away.  The doughnut shop got their new sign.  There's a new convenience store that opened.  The grass in the fields is so long.  It is late in June, getting on towards evening with the sun still setting, red and orange painting the western sky, the air still warm and the crickets and peepers playing out the day when the thrum of the engine finally cuts once you're safely parked in your garage again.  The hard part is unloading the packed-to-the-gills van after being so tired from the trip, but emptying is faster than packing.  The wood floors creak and pop, not having been stepped on in so long.  It smells warm and dusty and like home.  Finally home.

202

It should have been the easiest question in the world: What do you want?  I don't know.  Money?  Happiness?  Love?  Two nice pieces of thin, buttered toast cut into quarters and a glass of pulp-free orange juice?

Turns out, what I want wasn't what I thought I wanted.  I went through my thoughts and kept going back to the money thing.  They say money can't buy happiness, but it can make sure I have a nice home and a working car and food and medical care, so what the hell, money makes it so much easier to be happy.  I thought I wanted money, but that wasn't it.  I wanted to recreate the feelings of my past.  Doesn't that sound like some psychologist's b.s.?  It did to me, so I ignored it and went back to wanting money.

180

You are allowed to be happy ALL the time.

Many of you who read the opening sentence scoffed, most consciously and many more unconsciously.  You may have thought, "Yes, but..."  But, what?  But, you're not always happy?  True, but you are allowed to be happy all the time.  You can be.  You may be.  It is a possibility, and it comes without any caveats.  "Yes, but..."  But, what this time?  But if you're happy now, there's bound to be unhappiness later?

Why?

Remind yourself, "I am allowed to be happy ALL the time."  There is infinite happiness allowed to you.  It doesn't need to be balanced by unhappiness.  A happy time is not waiting for an unhappy time.  A happy time doesn't mean you'll need to "pay" for it later.  You can just be happy.

If you're finding this idea difficult, not to worry--I found it difficult, too.  I sometimes still find it difficult, but I keep reminding myself that I may freely and truly be happy and not worry that it will come to an end.  Repeat it to yourself, and soon you will believe, and you will be freer than you have felt in a long time, or maybe ever!  Be happy.  No one is unhappy because you are happy.  As a matter of fact, your happiness will make even more people happy.

This book will take you through exercises to find your happiness, keep your happiness and spread happiness.  This book will also remind you over and over:

Yes.  You are allowed to be happy.  All.  The.  Time.