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Louis was one of those people who never tried as hard as they could because if they did and still fell short, it would mean they weren't good enough. If Louis never tried as hard as he could, then he could always tell himself that if he had only tried harder, he would have succeeded. Berating oneself as lazy was infinitely better than being an actual failure.

It was during his late thirties that Louis realized he was one of those people. He was in the middle of berating himself for once again missing the deadline for a writing submission when his synapses finally let him know it was not laziness at all; it was fear of trying.

The knowledge hit Louis like a sidekick to the chest and he numbly thought it must have been what Adam and Eve felt after eating the Forbidden Fruit. He sat down on the floor of his one bedroom apartment and cried because this kind of enlightenment didn't go away.