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Once upon a time...

I hate to interrupt at such an early point in this story, but I know how you are, and I wanted you not to worry. You see, I understand how stories that start with "Once upon a time..." go, and I wanted you to know that although there will certainly be strife and uncertainty for the main characters, they will be okay at the end. Better than okay, in fact. They will be absolutely wonderful and giddy with the happiness that will follow them for all the rest of their long days. Starting again:

Once upon a time, there was a girl...

Sorry. Yes, it's me. I can tell you don't believe me, or, at least, you don't believe that you'll be worried, but I know you, and you will worry. You may even take it personally. If you have to pause mid-way through the story, you'll fret, but I want you to know, it will be fine. You're thinking that there's nothing in this story that will make you worry? Oh, but there is. It will start off okay, but, trust me, stories like this tend to veer pretty quickly. All right, all right. Enough. Here we go again:

Once upon a time, there was a girl who thought she was happy.

See? It's the word "thought" that brings it all down. I could change it to:

There was a girl who tried to be happy.

But really, that's the same thing. Swapping out a word doesn't make someone instantly happy. But I digress...