In 1492, Columbus hid in a closet. It was his brother, Barry, who sailed the ocean blue and "found" the New World. Christopher was better with people, and better looking, so he got all the credit. Barry Columbus didn't mind because he didn't like attention, but he did love the sea, exploring, and danger. Christopher Columbus was a chicken and preferred predictable comfort as well as boinking Queen Isabella.
In 1492, Barry sailed the ocean blue. He was also turned into a pincushion by rightfully frightened Guacanagari in what is now Haiti. Barry's loyal sailors kidnapped a bunch of native "Indians" and dragged them back to Spain where Christopher took all the credit and began a search for his other brother, Irving, the long-lost black sheep of the family, to sail in his place just as Barry had.
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