Doug, are you okay?
It was probably high school when Mom started warning me not to "be a Bahre", but did she ever warn you? You know what I mean, right, about Grandma Bahre? About Grandma's sisters. About how that side of the family seemed to be "pleasers" and let themselves be doormats? It's not exclusive to girls, you know.
Don't think I haven't thought that it could be my fault. Did I boss you around? Was it because we could never play together for long without me getting frustrated and walking away that you found that crazy wife of yours? Was it because Mom praised me for things you weren't doing? Though I know it's self-centered of me to even think this way, I can't help but feel guilty. That's a Bahre trait, too.
I was there, Doug. I found myself in the exact same situation, but I got out. Nobody helped me, though. I had to realize it myself. People whispered, that's for sure. Mom and Dad yelled at me, but only when I did something wrong. They never looked behind it to wonder why I had turned away. It was because I was "being a Bahre". Abused. Doug, you're in an abusive relationship.
She's crazy Doug. Mother of your children or not, it's not good for any of you. It's not too late to get out. Leave her. Take the kids. You can get Services for yourself--you don't need her for that. You're not alone, man. Those people who whispered behind my back were whispering what it took me years to come to terms with: I needed to go. So do you.
Does she still steal? Does she still lie? Does she still threaten you? Does she still try to get you to hit her so she can have you arrested?
I haven't seen you in a long time. Have you lost yourself in her abuse? I lost myself. I didn't know who I was anymore. I hated the real me and tried to be what he wanted. What are you trying to be, Doug? What do you want to be?
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