When you think of habits, most people thing of physical habits, like biting nails, eating junk food, or picking your nose. While physical habits might be more obvious, I think people's most damaging habits are hidden inside their brains. These are the habits that are harder to break because you often don't notice that they're habits, and even if you do, they cannot be physically broken; mental habits need to be broken mentally. It's true about my own worst mental habit: I worry too much about what others are doing or thinking.
If you're a nail biter, you, and likely anyone who knows you, will notice. Even strangers will notice because you physically exhibit your habit. You have to notice because you have the physical evidence, your ragged nails, right in front of you. When your habit is internal, it's harder to see, and other people won't be able to point it out to you. I finally noticed my worst habit some years ago when I wondered for the millionth time why I wasn't getting what I wanted to do done. Eventually, I discovered the pattern. I would sit down to work, and wonder what my significant other was doing. Was he okay? Did he need me? Was he killing time until I noticed he was okay? Maybe I shouldn't even be doing my work... Maybe other people thought I was wasting my time. Maybe others thought I should be doing... what? I would find myself stopping my task because I second guessed the importance and even the validity of my choice of work. Did my significant other know my habit of worrying whether or not he needed me was making me frustrated and wishy-washy? No. Could he stop me if he didn't know? Nope. More importantly, could I stop myself now that I finally knew?
Let's go back to that nail biter. There are ways to physically stop yourself from biting your nails. Bandages, keeping your hands or mouth busy, putting bad-tasting medicine on your nails will all help you stop the habit. Mental pathways are tougher. I must recognize the moment and stop myself without physical assistance. I find myself sitting here right now, wondering if my manfriend wants me to join him in playing Kinect Sports on the XBox. Does he want me to watch? Encourage him? Is he hungry for lunch? Does he think I should be grading because he knows that's what will drive me crazy enough to complain to him later? As a matter of fact, am I a bad teacher because I can't get through all these exams right now? If I really want to make a go of our self-employment, shouldn't I be working on something for that? What did Geddy Lee do when starting Rush, and shouldn't I work just as hard? Why am I doing this?? Gaaaaaahhhhhhh!
My worst habit is hidden, and, therefore, hard to recognize and even harder to stop. Mental habits probably plague more people than physical habits, and while they might not be as overtly gross as picking your nose, they are more damaging. Because I worry too much about what others are thinking, I don't take care of myself. I need to reframe my thoughts: if I take care of myself, others will be taken care of better, too, because I won't be fretting and I will get done what I need to do, which is what I want to do. Look into your own mind. Do you have a mental habit that is holding you back? If you have a physical habit, look beyond the physical and see if there isn't a mental habit lurking behind.
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