It is possible to own a home and be homeless. We're about to do it! Here's how:
We do not have enough money to get a decent mortgage for a decent house. We were also too poor to carry cash to a city tax auction and compete with contractors and "investors" for dregs. We are, however, clever enough to dig into the system and buy a city tax auction house outside of the auction so we could prepare and get a personal loan to pay for it. We are also persistent enough to make it work! However...
The city said the house was in "normal" condition. It is not. The city said they had NO inspection reports, they said they did NOT go inside, and they could not tell us anything about the property. We can tell them that there is no plumbing, no heat, no doorknobs, a roof that needs complete replacement, and a back porch that is dragging off the back of the house. We have also found out that the only reason the home was boarded over was because of neighbors begging for it--for years. Lesson learned: the city knew the condition of the house, they let it get worse, and they had the nerve to ask for any money for it.
We love our house! We spent all our first months, from September to December, cleaning out the garbage, attempting to get contractors to give us estimates, and bringing over boxes of our stuff we won't need right away. We tried to apply for the grant that would get us just about everything we'd need to fix the house and live in it, but you have to live in the house to get the grant. ?!? After a HUGE struggle, we got special house insurance for a house that was being fixed up that was cancelled after a month because they said the house needs to be fixed up and we need to live in it. ?!?
So we're now renting our apartment, paying for a personal loan, and paying taxes on our house. We haven't been to the house in over a week because temperatures are less than 10 degrees, and, as you may remember, we have no heat. The struggles of low-income people to make it out of their low-income living conditions is real. Really real. Because what happens when we can't afford to rent? We use up all the money we've managed to save for fixing our house. We can't move in if we can't fix it. We can't get a home equity loan or house insurance or a grant until we live in it. What do we do?
The plan: visit the department that manages the grants and tell them we're about to become homeless homeowners unless they put us on the grant waiting list (yes, there's still waiting!) We look to rent a scary-cheap apartment in the same city as our house. We wait until the temperatures go to above freezing, go back, keep cleaning, keep moving, try to fix more windows, try to remediate the basement ourselves, and maybe even try to dismantle the back porch ourselves. In the meantime, keep plugging along, trying to increase our income.
Homeless with a home. In 10 degree weather (lows below zero. Fahrenheit, in case you were wondering.) How does it happen? People like us struggle to get up. How will we make it work? Through ingenuity and persistence, like we've always done.
Showing posts with label knowledge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label knowledge. Show all posts
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Friday, September 18, 2015
What is one mistake made by the current generation that you would like to make sure that your generation does not repeat?
Only a few days before she died, my grandmother described to me the sound of crickets. The idea of them, however, terrified me, and my mother scolded my grandmother for telling me stories. Grandma was Buddha, and smiled, knowing. I knew, too.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
How do you feel about gay couples adopting babies?
Most people in the United States have no idea the numbers of children in foster care much less the even larger numbers of children currently freed for adoption. Nor do people understand the child protective services, foster care and county adoption process. Unless you are a part of the system, you simply have no clue.
I worked for the Department of Social Services in a unit called "Homefinding". While I wasn't a caseworker for very long, it was enough for me to understand how much is hidden in plain sight, and how much is wrong with society that the average person doesn't understand. For example, the prime goal of a children's services caseworker is to keep children with their families. These people work very hard to assess situations and provide whatever support necessary to get those families the help they need so moms, dads, brothers and sisters can stay together. The most tragic action you can take is to pull children from their mothers and fathers. And yet. And yet there were caseworkers who, upon visiting a home, had to take children without warning, bring those kids in their car back to the social services building, sit those crying/stunned/angry/terrified children in a waiting room and call Homefinding.
In Homefinding, we had a list of all the families in the area who could take in foster children. It was updated minimally once a day. There were pitifully few families on the list. Most homes were already full, and many available couldn't take the kind of children who came so suddenly into care. The crack-addicted baby with a heart condition, the fourteen year old boy, the family of ten brothers and sisters. It just wasn't possible.
Halfway through my tenure in Homefinding, they gave me the one and only position in "Adoptive Homefinding". It was here that I saw the even greater disconnect between reality and what is known. We have a vague idea that there are children available for adoption. Have you ever seen the Blue Books? The Blue Books are thick three-ring binders filled with pictures and descriptions of children emancipated from their birth families, waiting for a new family who will raise them and love them and help them become adults. Binder after binder after binder, each filled with page after page after page of children.
Here is the most terrifying disconnect:
Family wants to adopt a child. A baby. No crack babies, please. Possible spina bifida? No. No disease. No genetic problems. Can you guarantee this baby is okay? Twin toddlers? So adorable! But... was the mother a drinker? Were these kids abused? Are they damaged? This child has bathroom problems. This child poops in my closet. This child hides food. This child is damaged. I need a promise this child will be like my own: perfect.
A child is put into foster care. A child is only put into foster care when there has been abuse or neglect, meaning keeping the child with his or her family is too dangerous, no matter how hard the caseworker has tried. This child is damaged. This child is pulled away and put in a stranger's house. Caseworkers work very hard to help the birth family become better. Services are put into place. Visits are made. The foster family works with the birth family so the child can go home. But... the birth family is too dangerous and it cannot be. No other family member can take the child, so the child stays with strangers. Perhaps for years. Perhaps many strangers in different houses in different towns. Perhaps in a group home. This child was abused, neglected, torn from home, shuffled around, and, finally, "freed". Free for adoption.
Is this child damaged? Yes.
Can you guarantee this baby is okay? No.
Can you promise this child will grow up and be okay? No.
But...
But the damage can be mitigated. These children are humans, and they learn and they live and they love. There is no baby or child that comes with a guarantee--not even one born to you. These children were freed from their birth families because it was too horrible to return. Of course they need help; you would need help, too.
We need to know. We need to understand. We need to get a clue. We are needed.
I worked for the Department of Social Services in a unit called "Homefinding". While I wasn't a caseworker for very long, it was enough for me to understand how much is hidden in plain sight, and how much is wrong with society that the average person doesn't understand. For example, the prime goal of a children's services caseworker is to keep children with their families. These people work very hard to assess situations and provide whatever support necessary to get those families the help they need so moms, dads, brothers and sisters can stay together. The most tragic action you can take is to pull children from their mothers and fathers. And yet. And yet there were caseworkers who, upon visiting a home, had to take children without warning, bring those kids in their car back to the social services building, sit those crying/stunned/angry/terrified children in a waiting room and call Homefinding.
In Homefinding, we had a list of all the families in the area who could take in foster children. It was updated minimally once a day. There were pitifully few families on the list. Most homes were already full, and many available couldn't take the kind of children who came so suddenly into care. The crack-addicted baby with a heart condition, the fourteen year old boy, the family of ten brothers and sisters. It just wasn't possible.
Halfway through my tenure in Homefinding, they gave me the one and only position in "Adoptive Homefinding". It was here that I saw the even greater disconnect between reality and what is known. We have a vague idea that there are children available for adoption. Have you ever seen the Blue Books? The Blue Books are thick three-ring binders filled with pictures and descriptions of children emancipated from their birth families, waiting for a new family who will raise them and love them and help them become adults. Binder after binder after binder, each filled with page after page after page of children.
Here is the most terrifying disconnect:
Family wants to adopt a child. A baby. No crack babies, please. Possible spina bifida? No. No disease. No genetic problems. Can you guarantee this baby is okay? Twin toddlers? So adorable! But... was the mother a drinker? Were these kids abused? Are they damaged? This child has bathroom problems. This child poops in my closet. This child hides food. This child is damaged. I need a promise this child will be like my own: perfect.
A child is put into foster care. A child is only put into foster care when there has been abuse or neglect, meaning keeping the child with his or her family is too dangerous, no matter how hard the caseworker has tried. This child is damaged. This child is pulled away and put in a stranger's house. Caseworkers work very hard to help the birth family become better. Services are put into place. Visits are made. The foster family works with the birth family so the child can go home. But... the birth family is too dangerous and it cannot be. No other family member can take the child, so the child stays with strangers. Perhaps for years. Perhaps many strangers in different houses in different towns. Perhaps in a group home. This child was abused, neglected, torn from home, shuffled around, and, finally, "freed". Free for adoption.
Is this child damaged? Yes.
Can you guarantee this baby is okay? No.
Can you promise this child will grow up and be okay? No.
But...
But the damage can be mitigated. These children are humans, and they learn and they live and they love. There is no baby or child that comes with a guarantee--not even one born to you. These children were freed from their birth families because it was too horrible to return. Of course they need help; you would need help, too.
We need to know. We need to understand. We need to get a clue. We are needed.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Pageant Question 30: Besides your family, who have you learned the most from and what did you learn?
From my piano teacher, I learned that mocking someone does not make them want to improve.
From my third grade teacher, I learned that rocking the boat makes people nervous.
From my general practitioner, I learned that a great deal of education does not necessarily make a person smart.
From the family who took my old truck for scrap, I learned that people can live on next to nothing.
From my first boyfriend, I learned that looks aren't everything.
From my landlord, I learned that you can't always tell who's a bigot.
From an old man I passed on the street, I learned that you can live right up to the moment you're dead.
What have they learned from me? What should they have learned from me?
My piano teacher learned that his students are lazy, but he should have learned that students yearn to be good.
My third grade teacher learned that bullying works, but she should have learned that children remember forever.
My general practitioner learned that his wisdom was rarely heeded, but he should have learned to listen.
The family who took my old truck for scrap learned that if you ask, you may receive even more than you hoped for, and they should have learned that the world needs to know how the poor survive.
My first boyfriend learned that I wasn't right for him, but he should have learned that girls desperate for a boyfriend have no idea what they're doing.
My landlord learned that his audience will listen, but he should have learned that I thought he was wrong.
The old man learned that people stare at illness, but he should have learned that I wished him safe journey.
From my third grade teacher, I learned that rocking the boat makes people nervous.
From my general practitioner, I learned that a great deal of education does not necessarily make a person smart.
From the family who took my old truck for scrap, I learned that people can live on next to nothing.
From my first boyfriend, I learned that looks aren't everything.
From my landlord, I learned that you can't always tell who's a bigot.
From an old man I passed on the street, I learned that you can live right up to the moment you're dead.
What have they learned from me? What should they have learned from me?
My piano teacher learned that his students are lazy, but he should have learned that students yearn to be good.
My third grade teacher learned that bullying works, but she should have learned that children remember forever.
My general practitioner learned that his wisdom was rarely heeded, but he should have learned to listen.
The family who took my old truck for scrap learned that if you ask, you may receive even more than you hoped for, and they should have learned that the world needs to know how the poor survive.
My first boyfriend learned that I wasn't right for him, but he should have learned that girls desperate for a boyfriend have no idea what they're doing.
My landlord learned that his audience will listen, but he should have learned that I thought he was wrong.
The old man learned that people stare at illness, but he should have learned that I wished him safe journey.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Pageant Question 19: Would you consider yourself to be an optimist, a pessimist or a realist?
It is not true that there is a finite amount of happiness a person can have. When good comes to you, there is no reason why more good should not follow, and furthermore, there is no reason why the good should be interrupted for any reason in the future. Often, people who find themselves benefiting from what they perceive as "good luck" will assume that it is a one-shot deal. They may even believe that the good luck must be balanced by bad.
Untrue!
Good may follow good may follow good until you finally realize that none of the "good" is happening separately from any other part of life: it is life. At this point, many happy people living a good life may feel a sense of guilt. There is no reason for guilt because happiness is infinite. Because you are happy doesn't mean anyone else will be unhappy. Because you experience a good event doesn't mean it needs to be balanced with bad somewhere else. You can be happy and experience good, and so can everyone else. It is infinite.
Plus: it is always within you.
A person has a very small sphere of influence--it is only him or herself. You control how you think and react. Thoughts, however, can be habits, and you may need to re-groove paths in your brain to realize the happiness that lies within. It will take work. It will take patience with yourself. You will have setbacks, but it will work.
Untrue!
Good may follow good may follow good until you finally realize that none of the "good" is happening separately from any other part of life: it is life. At this point, many happy people living a good life may feel a sense of guilt. There is no reason for guilt because happiness is infinite. Because you are happy doesn't mean anyone else will be unhappy. Because you experience a good event doesn't mean it needs to be balanced with bad somewhere else. You can be happy and experience good, and so can everyone else. It is infinite.
Plus: it is always within you.
A person has a very small sphere of influence--it is only him or herself. You control how you think and react. Thoughts, however, can be habits, and you may need to re-groove paths in your brain to realize the happiness that lies within. It will take work. It will take patience with yourself. You will have setbacks, but it will work.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
336
What is holding you back from the lifestyle you desire? Money? Health? Job? Family? No matter your current situation, you CAN achieve your dreams, in less time than you think! By making small, easily sustainable changes in your life, you will smoothly transition into the person you always knew you could be, with the money, health, job and family of which you've always dreamed.
How?
Your first step is VISUALIZATION. You need to picture yourself where you've always wanted to be. Make a list of your desires, and even add pictures. Post it where you will see it every morning when you awake, and look at it before you leave your bed. Visualize your ideal life for five minutes every morning. Now you're well on your way!
How?
Your first step is VISUALIZATION. You need to picture yourself where you've always wanted to be. Make a list of your desires, and even add pictures. Post it where you will see it every morning when you awake, and look at it before you leave your bed. Visualize your ideal life for five minutes every morning. Now you're well on your way!
Monday, September 1, 2014
268
Georgina missed the part of her life where she had been good-looking. Granted, it hadn't been for long, but she didn't realize it until a decade past; that was the way it went with her. Realizations came suddenly and far too late. At least, she thought at her reflection, they came eventually. She patted her graying hair, which was also thinning and thickening at the same time, before another realization: it didn't matter. Georgina felt that realization release a weight which dropped to the floor with a clunk. It didn't matter. She was light-headed with relief. A narrow tunnel she had been traveling down that ended in darkness now opened up into a rotunda with exits on all sides pointing to sunlight. It didn't matter. Hair, face, skin, shape, color, clothes, breakfast, likes, dislikes, opinions: none of it mattered. Better late than never, she thought, leaving her house and pointedly not taking her phone or brushing her hair.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
257
10 Steps to Faking a Clean(-ish) House
Recently, probably from Yahoo (king of the useless story), there was an online article that gave 10 ways to get your house presentable "without having to clean". Every step was included...cleaning! This article, the one you're reading right now, will give you the real "10 Steps". These are the steps I take whenever I know someone will definitely be showing up and I need the place to appear as if I was a decent housekeeper all along. (Warning: a few actual "cleaning" tips included, but those may be skipped with impunity.)
1) Guess where the visitors will be most likely to gather. If it's the front room, focus on that. If it's the kitchen, focus there. If there's a path to a home theater, focus on the path and the theater room. Consider which bathroom is most likely to be used, too (more on that later.)
2) Clear any clutter. This step is so awesome that if you can manage it well, you might not have to go any further. The depth of clutter-clearing is up to you, but try to get everything off the floor and try to make surfaces visible (e.g. the kitchen table or counter tops.) At least stack boxes, books and papers neatly.
3) Clothes and dishes--put them all away to help with both clutter and smell. If there are dishes in your sink, yeah, wash them. If you're lucky enough to have a dishwasher, hide them in it. Dirty clothes into a hamper and into the laundry room. No need to do anything to the laundry room because visitors don't go there and, if they do, they deserve what they see and smell.
4) Make the bed (again, only if necessary), straighten wonky curtains, throw-blankets and pillows around the house.
5) Floors. If you have crumbs on the floor, scatter them a bit. Maybe wipe edges of hard floors where junk gathers, if you must (like in the kitchen and bathroom) with a damp paper towel. You can wipe food spots, if you wish, but no need for crazy.
6) Bathroom: hide any clutter (can toss into drawers or into the tub!), squirt cleaning goo into the toilet (for scent and color/telltale bubbles), pull out the shower curtain (if the bottom isn't gross) to hide more around the tub, change the towels. It's important to change those towels! Make sure you have at least one clean, folded hand towel--a dirty towel (or a bath towel) will only cause your guests to be grossed out. If there's one place you might want to actually clean, it's the bathroom, so if you do, this is a good step: wipe down the sink, the soap container/dish, swirl the toilet brush, wipe the seat with a paper towel (and under, for dudes!), and wash the mirror. Actually, if you wash nothing but the mirror it will totally help--spots on the mirror make the room look doubly dirty because of the reflection.
7) Check around for anything embarrassing and put it away. Sensitive papers, weird statuary, lube, sex dolls, etc.
8) Scent the house. Change the garbage, if it smells. Squirt cleaning spray into the empty can, then replace the bag. Quick bake something! Cookies, bread, cinnamon rolls--whatever you like that smells delish. Don't scent your house too much, like by squirting air freshener all over or lighting a bunch of candles. It's a dead giveaway that you're hiding something. Instead, put a few shots of kitchen cleaner into the sink and some dusting spray over carpet--it will smell like you cleaned!
9) If this matters to you, check the outside of your house. Again, clear the clutter. Straighten chairs and wonky decorations.
10) Relax. You want it to look like your house is like this all the time! Don't blow your cover with panting and sweating when the company arrives. Remember that everyone's house is a royal stink-hole when nobody else is there. It's an illusion; one that you now have perfected, too.
Recently, probably from Yahoo (king of the useless story), there was an online article that gave 10 ways to get your house presentable "without having to clean". Every step was included...cleaning! This article, the one you're reading right now, will give you the real "10 Steps". These are the steps I take whenever I know someone will definitely be showing up and I need the place to appear as if I was a decent housekeeper all along. (Warning: a few actual "cleaning" tips included, but those may be skipped with impunity.)
1) Guess where the visitors will be most likely to gather. If it's the front room, focus on that. If it's the kitchen, focus there. If there's a path to a home theater, focus on the path and the theater room. Consider which bathroom is most likely to be used, too (more on that later.)
2) Clear any clutter. This step is so awesome that if you can manage it well, you might not have to go any further. The depth of clutter-clearing is up to you, but try to get everything off the floor and try to make surfaces visible (e.g. the kitchen table or counter tops.) At least stack boxes, books and papers neatly.
3) Clothes and dishes--put them all away to help with both clutter and smell. If there are dishes in your sink, yeah, wash them. If you're lucky enough to have a dishwasher, hide them in it. Dirty clothes into a hamper and into the laundry room. No need to do anything to the laundry room because visitors don't go there and, if they do, they deserve what they see and smell.
4) Make the bed (again, only if necessary), straighten wonky curtains, throw-blankets and pillows around the house.
5) Floors. If you have crumbs on the floor, scatter them a bit. Maybe wipe edges of hard floors where junk gathers, if you must (like in the kitchen and bathroom) with a damp paper towel. You can wipe food spots, if you wish, but no need for crazy.
6) Bathroom: hide any clutter (can toss into drawers or into the tub!), squirt cleaning goo into the toilet (for scent and color/telltale bubbles), pull out the shower curtain (if the bottom isn't gross) to hide more around the tub, change the towels. It's important to change those towels! Make sure you have at least one clean, folded hand towel--a dirty towel (or a bath towel) will only cause your guests to be grossed out. If there's one place you might want to actually clean, it's the bathroom, so if you do, this is a good step: wipe down the sink, the soap container/dish, swirl the toilet brush, wipe the seat with a paper towel (and under, for dudes!), and wash the mirror. Actually, if you wash nothing but the mirror it will totally help--spots on the mirror make the room look doubly dirty because of the reflection.
7) Check around for anything embarrassing and put it away. Sensitive papers, weird statuary, lube, sex dolls, etc.
8) Scent the house. Change the garbage, if it smells. Squirt cleaning spray into the empty can, then replace the bag. Quick bake something! Cookies, bread, cinnamon rolls--whatever you like that smells delish. Don't scent your house too much, like by squirting air freshener all over or lighting a bunch of candles. It's a dead giveaway that you're hiding something. Instead, put a few shots of kitchen cleaner into the sink and some dusting spray over carpet--it will smell like you cleaned!
9) If this matters to you, check the outside of your house. Again, clear the clutter. Straighten chairs and wonky decorations.
10) Relax. You want it to look like your house is like this all the time! Don't blow your cover with panting and sweating when the company arrives. Remember that everyone's house is a royal stink-hole when nobody else is there. It's an illusion; one that you now have perfected, too.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
140
The story of Adam and Eve in Genesis is not a true story of how life on Earth began, but rather a story for children that teaches them how they grow and learn. Those who take the Bible for truth will most certainly have their own thoughts (and they will be sure to share them on crumpled paper rubber banded onto to rocks and flung through my picture window,) but it is nonetheless obvious for anyone who chooses to truly look.
"Eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil" is what we all eventually must do, though it is a bitter fruit, indeed. Recall the first time you realized that some aspect of your life was not as it at first seemed. Recall the horror you felt. Recall the tilting of your world beneath your feet. See the thick, black line drawn between "before" and "after" this realization. Think of your wish never to have had that realization. Witness your own futile attempts to forget. See every day the new truth you wish you never learned.
Congratulations. You have eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
I ate of the Tree when a man in a Winnebago cut me off when I was only sixteen and flipped me the finger. I realized, with a shock and a quick application of brakes, that not all adults are kind.
"Eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil" is what we all eventually must do, though it is a bitter fruit, indeed. Recall the first time you realized that some aspect of your life was not as it at first seemed. Recall the horror you felt. Recall the tilting of your world beneath your feet. See the thick, black line drawn between "before" and "after" this realization. Think of your wish never to have had that realization. Witness your own futile attempts to forget. See every day the new truth you wish you never learned.
Congratulations. You have eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
I ate of the Tree when a man in a Winnebago cut me off when I was only sixteen and flipped me the finger. I realized, with a shock and a quick application of brakes, that not all adults are kind.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
131
Observation is the first step towards enlightenment, but you'll never do it correctly. You will observe only through the filter of your body's feelings and your mind's memories. Your experience colors your perceptions and there is nothing upon which you may look that isn't referenced from your own viewpoint.
So forget enlightenment. I'd recommend you try for inner peace, but that is also impossible given the turbulence of the mind.
So forget enlightenment. I'd recommend you try for inner peace, but that is also impossible given the turbulence of the mind.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
37
Louis was one of those people who never tried as hard as they could because if they did and still fell short, it would mean they weren't good enough. If Louis never tried as hard as he could, then he could always tell himself that if he had only tried harder, he would have succeeded. Berating oneself as lazy was infinitely better than being an actual failure.
It was during his late thirties that Louis realized he was one of those people. He was in the middle of berating himself for once again missing the deadline for a writing submission when his synapses finally let him know it was not laziness at all; it was fear of trying.
The knowledge hit Louis like a sidekick to the chest and he numbly thought it must have been what Adam and Eve felt after eating the Forbidden Fruit. He sat down on the floor of his one bedroom apartment and cried because this kind of enlightenment didn't go away.
It was during his late thirties that Louis realized he was one of those people. He was in the middle of berating himself for once again missing the deadline for a writing submission when his synapses finally let him know it was not laziness at all; it was fear of trying.
The knowledge hit Louis like a sidekick to the chest and he numbly thought it must have been what Adam and Eve felt after eating the Forbidden Fruit. He sat down on the floor of his one bedroom apartment and cried because this kind of enlightenment didn't go away.
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